As I sit here writing this, I'm angrily eyeing a bowl of salad out of the corner of my eye. I don't want it. But I have to eat. And so my story begins.
Yesterday was probably the worst possible day to start a diet. But I figured, it's now or never bitches! I was awoken around 4:20 to let out the dogs. Ten minutes later I got a call from work. There were serious issues and I was on call. So I ended up staying up and working. Around 8 I finally had my green smoothie. I swallowed the sludge down on my drive into work. I admit, it wasn't as horrible as I expected. But I wouldn't make it for guests to enjoy on hot summer day.
For "lunch," if that's what you want to call it, I had carrots and celery with some cherries. I couldn't finish my carrots and celery, because it was just that plain and boring. I think that's the secret of this diet. The food you're allowed to eat is so gross, you just don't want to eat at all.
I'm pretty sure I went through food withdrawl yesterday. I had a splitting headache for most of the day. Of course, it's possible that the headache came from a combination of lack of sleep and lack of food.
"Dinner" was particularly excruciating. I went to Ol' Heidelberg with some friends. Everyone had generously portioned dinners with slabs of schnitzel slathered in rich creamy sauces. Mmmm...and the pan fried potatoes. The cucumber salad drenched in dressing cried out to me. Alas, I drank my water in silence and swallowed a boring salad. I picked out the croutons and ate every last piece of lettuce. It might have been iceberg which is against the plan, but oh well. The birthday boy had the most decadent, chocolatey, creamy slice of cake for dessert. I was dying a little bit on the inside. If you've ever seen the movie "Matilda" think back to the scene where the Headmistress makes the boy eat the chocolate cake. That's what it looked like. It hurt to watch.
This morning started off better, although I was still pretty worn out from yesterday. I chugged my sludge on the drive in. I attempted to take shots, like one would with tequila. That helped a little bit. For "lunch" I had baby carrots (which again I couldn't finish) and cherries. My co-workers are finding this diet particularly amusing. So they taunt me with their peanut butter jelly sandwiches and chips. Later they taunted me with a bag of oreos. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like grabbing the bag and eating them Cookie Monster style.
I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm not sure if I'm kicking some sort of addiction, or it's just the desire within me. The hunger pangs only comes in waves. After awhile, it's like the body stops begging and takes a break. I watched my cat eat his canned food with envy tonight. I seriously would've had a bite.
Is this what it's like to starve to death?
Reluctantly I went into the kitchen and made myself a green salad tonight. I threw in some cherry tomatos, red bell peppers and garlic. I'm not convinced it will taste good. Honestly, I would rather eat nothing. But I have a feeling, that isn't the healthiest option.
As far as working out goes, I got through half of my workout last night. But then I got a phone call from Germany and by the time I was done, it was time to shower and get ready for the birthday party. Tomorrow is my last day of detox and I "get" to workout again. Oh joy. I can't tell you how excited I am for real food on Thursday. And even more excited about "treat day" on Saturday. I'm pretty sure if obese people did this diet, they wouldn't need any kind of stomach stapling surgery. Mine is probably the size of a bean right now.
Well I guess I'll try to swallow this bit of salad and watch some TV to get my mind off of the wonderful foods that I'm missing out on. Afterall, I've got a lifetime to enjoy foods, right? And obviously, I've overindulged in food for far too long, or else I wouldn't be in this current predicament. Down the chute it goes.
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